#oh me oh my im so nervous
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— ❝ of course you think so . ❞ idea, seemingly, instantly dismissed by virtue of 'craig said it so it sucks.' really, it must escape her mind why she ever indulges herself in allowing him to offer advice.
— her arms cross, a sigh escaping her as though disappointed with the suggestion. 'maybe swearing will help'- how ridiculous. the thought is written clear across her face, in the way she looks at him.
— ❝ but . . . ❞
— sly grin starts to creep across her lips, facade of disapproval slipping away in favour of something a little more mischievous.
— ❝ but , you might have a point this time . ❞ hand raises to rest on her chin in imitation of the ever iconic thinking emoji, finger tapping as though in thought.
— ❝ to their faces ? or do you think this is more of a 'scream it in the woods' situation . ❞ maybe while breaking things, even.
#im still getting a grasp on how I write my red so go easy on me HAHA#i think.. shes just being like that to mess w craig at the start....#like 'friends who insult each other' type stuff... if that makes sense...#also if my formatting is annoying just say the word fr#「character tag」 — red mcarthur#troublcmakcrs#「troublcmakcrs」 — craig tucker#inbox tag#oh me oh my im so nervous
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i've been thinking about exactly why people portraying one of the other crew members successfully killing Jimmy as a "for what you did to Anya" kind of thing rubs me the wrong way a bit and it's because like..... this is just another form of taking agency away from Anya, in a way. it's kind of framing her as some meek, shivery woman-thing who's entirely at the mercy of the men around her, either to hurt her or save her.
(i understand these are mostly for wish fulfillment on the audience's behalf because everyone would like to see Jimmy pay for his crimes. whether or not this is the intention of the person writing it isn't really relevant, characterization happens with or without intent. i feel like it misses the point by portraying it as an 'ideal ending'.)
because... Anya is a capable person. she takes things into her own hands when she can. it was partially(?) her idea to get into the cargo,
(before he interrupts her.. remember when she interrupted Curly in the dead pixel segment?)
it was her idea to get the code scanner from the cockpit,
it was her idea to get the medication from behind the foam.
(the chance to do these things herself is not given to her.)
she'd been keeping Curly alive for months in a critical state somehow, her psych evaluations at the start are only so useless because Jimmy refuses to take it/her seriously and Curly is obviously biased when he puts it into his own hands. he's known him a long time, like he said. "I'll just put good for that one."
there's not a lot of material to work with because of how the game is framed, but it's there. we are working with two very biased perspectives and neither one lends Anya what she deserves
there's significant changes in how she speaks post- and pre- crash, and depending on who she happens to be talking to. i recommend re-reading her dialogue, because the difference is drastic
she acts the way she does around Jimmy because he has tangibly done horrible things to her, is actively hostile, and physically could not escape him by any means. she can't take away Curly's agency herself, in my eyes. you have to remember that Especially in the post-crash segments of the game, it's entirely from Jimmy's POV, and he obviously does not (and has never) thought very highly of her or treated her with a shred of respect
i've seen a general idea that she can't bear to hurt other people for any reason, but that doesn't really track to me. this is the real point of the post by the way
it seems based on the parts where she says she struggles to give Curly medication. "It just hurts him so much, I can't stand the noise." "It makes me nauseous."
it's not really the same thing as, say, hurting someone in self defense
this sounds like she did want the gun itself. this never felt worded like someone who would refuse to, at very least, threaten Jimmy with a gun, with violence. if she had been given the agency to make that decision on her own. she wasn't though
she still tries to reclaim some of it even as she's denied it
by the end she's still trying to keep that gun out of his hands
i think some people overly soften her, for similar reasons the game itself is trying to comment on. she's not a tender victim who couldn't cause pain to another out of the softness of her soul, she's a person who's had every last bit of agency ripped from her repeatedly until she couldn't take it anymore. that's the point. that's why framing her that way, "needing" someone to save her, is odd to me
she didn't need Curly to save her, she needed him to take responsibility
she didn't want to escalate things, but she's not an idiot. self defense was absolutely on her mind
but who knows im just saying shit *smiles serenely*
#dib noise#mouthwashing#sorryyyyyyyyy lol#i will defend you anya o7#its been fun to roll this game around in my brain. gives me something to do#long post#could be reaching though. it's unfortunate so much of her screentime is hammering home how poorly jimmy regards her#or her being scared/nervous in his presence#or trying to placate him#yes i know that's the point#are my feelings on how anya is treated by the the characters the fans and the game itself weirdly personal? yeah sorry#unfortunately i do think they didn't get the anya parts as solidly as the rest but oh well#everything has flaws#i've gone through a playthrough of this game like 10 times for this#you KNOW im sourcing my claims!!#not really an attack on the people who made the stuff i mentioned at the start#more of a commentary on how they relate with the source material itself#yes yes i know giving a crewmate a lethal weapon is probably not the best idea to curly#does that make this situation any less horrifying?#remember: these aren't real people. everything they do was written on purpose for a reason#i still need to write down my general thoughts on the game as a whole..#also not about one specific person post image writing ect it's a collection of things and ideas thrown onto one post#I'm not any good at ending posts like thase it kind of devolves by yhe end but thats ok
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Idk why he called it that.............
#herosteve#steve minecraft#minecraft herobrine#oh gosh oh gosh them am i right yeah??? yeah#i need to embrace drawing grown men.........#i am so nervous to post it i think i lost all my skills arrrggghhhhhhhh bark bark bark please let me be q.q#i thought it would be funny im sorry if its not T.T
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Happy pride month!!!! I provide nothing but doodles im sorry in advance
(I use she/her for both Hofnarr and Gonne, pls be respectful of that in tags/reblogs!!)
#im always so so so nervous abt postign ANY of my Hofnarr/Gonne art but i have SO MUCH OF IT#LIKE ACTUAL PAGES WORTH#for pride month im finally postign some of it.. my dear friedn moth said to just clarify in the caption adn it shld be ok so#just pls be nice i am fragile and scared always#idk do gonne and hofnarr have a ship name. ive seen one other person draw them that isnt in my group chat of three whole ppl#and they were jsut standing next to each other#whatevr. theyre canon to ME#madness combat#mc sanford#mc deimos#sanmos#madness: project nexus#mc hofnarr#mc gonne#OH MY GOD I FORGOT THE SHERIFF ADN CHRISTOFF WERE HERE LMAO OOPSIES#mc christoff#mc sheriff#i dont know their ship name either sorry lol#my art#simmons likes to draw
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thinking about a young trans cal and a young andre.
(kind of a long post?? sorry lolol)
andre would be the very first person the boy tells. he'd be a mess of tears, shaking like a leaf in fear of his very best friend hating him for eternity because of who he truly was. the boy would lose his other half... only,,, no. he wouldn't. his best friend didn't do any of that actually. andre would sit there as he listened and watched his best friend messily explain himself, nodding with furrowed brows. he'd be quiet for a little bit, just staring. after a while he'd ask "then,,, who are you?" in that subtle accent of his. (he hadn't quite lost it yet.)
at first, cal couldn't tell rachel. she wouldn't understand. she didn't understand him like andre did, even if theyd been friends since elementary. him and andre had only been friends for three years now, they were in the big grade 8.
this would stop the boy for a second. he'd pause. he didn't know. he didn't even know he wanted to be "calvin" yet, all he knew was that he wasn't a girl. he was a boy. so, in light of this, andre would grab his best friends arm and drag him to the gabriel household bathroom. grabbing a pair of navy blue kraft scissors from his backpack, he tells his very best friend to wait in the bathroom while he grabs a stool for him.
andre sits his best friend down, locks the door, and stands behind him. "there was gum in your hair." he tells the boy in front of him, "we had to cut it." the boy just nods, wiping the hot tears from his face, however now his quivering lip had stilled into an almost nervous smile. the boy was practically grinning from ear to ear.
a mess of blonde locks found their way to the floor, snip after careful snip. andre had honestly never been so focused in his life, just wanting his other half to finally feel comfortable in his own skin. it'd been maybe an hour before andre had set the scissors down on the sink, a few strands of soft gold still stuck between the hinges. andre pats the boy on his shoulders, admiring his handywork in the mirror infront of them. it definitely wasn't the best haircut ever, but it probably wasn't the worst. it was extremely choppy, a little uneven, and most likely damaging to hair stylists around the world, but when the boy looked in the mirror he finally saw himself.
the two boys would then move to the eldest gabriels room, laying side by side on the long end of his bed. andre listed masculine type names and his best friend would rate them on how well he liked them.
"ethan?"
"ew, no, too dorky."
"ashton?"
"too edgy?"
"heheh, okay, what about eric..?"
"mmeh, too generic."
"oh come on dude, you're so picky."
"you just SUCK at picking names."
"..."
"..."
"... calvin?"
there it was. the silence between them was their answer. andre would turn his head to the side, a proud smile on his face as he read the boys expression. his best friend then would turn his head towards him, a relieved look on his face.
".... yeah." calvin would finally say.
#cal shows his tvs glow to andre only for him to turn up the brightness for the both of them to see#was listening to that movies soundtrack and this came to me#im so nervous about posting this oh my god#trans cal save us#can be read as romantic or platonic#andre kriegman#zero day 2003#cal gabriel#zero day#calvin gabriel#caldre#zeroday#trans cal#i saw the tv glow
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Something something it's a metaphor. Hair as a form of communication but also as passage of time and also as a way for letting people in and also as a detail etc etc you get it
Actual explanation in the tags btw
I'm really nervous about this comic actually, is not the best. It doesn't make sense, and the art is mid, but I put love in it and I think that's enough
#sbg#sbg (webtoon)#aiden clark#aiden sbg#ashlyn sbg#ben clark#ben sbg#logan sbg#taylor sbg#tyler sbg#school bus graveyard#hey full pages#hey its a comic oh my god its a comic#hi hi hi#really nervous about this thing actually becuase its not very good but i have mkre content lined up#so i dont mind one shitty thing breaking contaiment#metaphors about hair and about allowing people in via innocuous mundane things#watch canon explain the hair color thing and watch me cry about it#the concept is actually not communicated alright#so ill put it here#Roots as in finding his place with these people#because even if theyre running for their lives all the time#they are friends yk? and he loves them#across the comic you can see so clearly that Aiden loves every single one of them and that to someone who travels a lot and probably#struggles emotionally the act of “putting down roots” must be hard#so his hair here is a representation of his roots growing deep into the people he loves and the things they do together#and the last dialogue is meant as a way to let THEM see that he trusts them#but idk i wrote it but i dont know what im talking about#make your own interpretation i think thats more fun#berry art
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A non-exhaustive collection of alien headshots from my worldbuilding project. That one on the far right looks especially strange.
#emphasis on the nonexhaustive#oh god im always so nervous to post any of my spec bio stuff#guys be nice to me when i alien post okay this is scary#stellaris fic#<- i need a better name for this its not even remotely a fic anymore#my art#digital art#spec bio#aliens#draf#kon#trimil#zyywit#kiwe#human
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Do I have the balls to go to a DSA general meeting vote now on your phones
#out of queue#ani rambles#me and my friend met for dinner today#talked about post election anxieties and dealing with republican dads and jazz#and id mentioned to her via text like oh hey a way to keep hope and take action would be to join a mutual aid org#so we looked to see if we could find any in our area#there wasn’t much for her specific area but more for mine (i live in a city she lives in a nearby offshoot town kinda deal)#and theres a DSA general meeting next Wednesday#and technically I could just fucking go I don’t have work that day#but my friend won’t be able to come with me and I’m awkward about doing stuff alone#ani in a social situation is like a horse loose in a hospital#no one knows what the horse is gonna do/supposed to do. least of all THE HORSE#but also…… i could talk the talk and walk the walk i could join a mutual aid org#like im gonna try and go to the FNPS chapter meeting next month but idk if that counts as mutual aid#also turns out there is a FNB in my city but uhhhh im awkward im nervous i cant cook and I dont make THAT much money
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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Come on guess who my favorite SCP doctor (and author) is, Bonus
Tiny bug
#its clef- who would have known#scp foundation#scp fanart#scp fandom#scp#alto clef#dr clef#dr alto clef#mcarts#fanart#i've drawn him like 4905940 millions times this year#am i going to upload any of the rest? probably not iM SCARED#Uhh the guy with the net is my d-class#oc#triple#Oh yeah there's the beetlejuice reference too#cough#don't ask#Edit: my friends are bullying me over this because i got so nervous my tummy started to hurt#if author sees this 1- im sorry 2- i will launch myself to the sun like one of those experiments to kill 682 lmao
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i muade this in like 20 minuts and i refuse to spend anymore time on it. heres the video that possessed me to make it
#i might spruce it up more for a doodly page later#who knows#in the meantime though this can try to break containment if it wants to#this fuckin video was crackin me up so hard i HAD to make it real#i love emizel tucker so so fuckin much UUGGHH#ALSO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING EP 9 BTW. AND OH MY GOD. OH COME ON. WHAT THE FUCK. IM SO MAD ABT GABE#THEY COULDVE BEEN BOYFRIENDS. WHAT THE FUCK. CMOOON#also i gotta leave in a while to work a shift at 2 am and im NERVOUS. AND ITS MANIFESTING IN WAYS#AND THOSE WAYS INCLUDE SCREAMIN ABT BLORBOS ON TWITTER#HEEELP ME HEEELP!! HELP MEEE!!!
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let me just say this: if crowley EVER makes an actual move on aziraphale and aziraphale gives even a HINT of reciprocation it's over for him in SECONDS bc u know aziraphale half asses nothing so it'll be like crowley tries to brush their fingers together and aziraphale fully beams at him and interlocks their fingers in seconds. crowley stares speechlessly at their hands for 5 minutes, looks up at aziraphale and faints. crowley gets aziraphale flowers and aziraphale puts them in the very center of his shop where everyone can see and keeps them alive for months. crowley fights a giggle every time he sees them. crowley offers his jacket on a cold night and aziraphale wears the jacket everywhere for weeks and gushes about it to everyone he meets. crowley chokes on his breath every meeting aziraphale is in it without fail. crowley slyly asks aziraphale on an actual romantic date and aziraphale SLAMS down their wedding invitations infort him of like "im so glad u asked, dear, i've been waiting for this" then launches into a rant about flower arrangements and table cloth colors and crowley is left blinking at him and trying not to explode. poor snake.
#i want yall to know that i spent a full 2 minutes tryna spell reciprocation im not kidding#i dont even know if this actual makes sense bc reading it back makes me wanna kms i articulated this so badly im so sorry#i literally just woke up and the coffees hasn't kicked in yet#anyway what i meant by this is crowley is the biggest simp alive with a weak nervous system when it comes to az and aziraphale is#just like 'marry me already u fucker' everytime crowley is agonizing abt if az loves him like that he puts his hand his hips and gestures#wildly their wedding rings then is like 'oh shit i forgot to give u that' and crowley discorporates#bro im so excited for s2 im shaking out of my skin every single minute km not watching it i cant focus on anything other than these idiots#send help PLEASE#good omens#azicrow#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#crowley#good omens headcanons
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good day today! good day! just long
#i will get used to it#highlights:#i had two work meetings for my on campus jobs and i am getting a lot of hours right off the bat because my boss loves meeeeee#but she asked the absolute max hours i could work and i gave her a number that is more than double what i worked last year. and uhhhhh yeah#i got that so. yipeee#i just was offered a studio space??!! which is not. something that juniors typically get im just from a tiny major and got. very luckyyyy#class was really great?? it was a lot of paint making demos and i. probably came off as a know it all but its okay because i got to engage#with my special interest which rocks#i saw my boyfriend and had class with him which is always a highlight#saw my friends a lot too.. so! pretty good#uh anything else. my therapy appt went fine. thats all#oh! and i mentioned i was just. elected a position in student government so i go to my first meeting for that tommorow. (repesentative for#the junior class which im. happy ppl consider me a good fit for.)#im a littttttle nervous about balancing my usual class workload with a lot more work than im used to and also an internship and also a#student gov position but i think it will be okay..!!
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Wowie!! Look at that!! Mack made the Elite Trine in Pony Town!!
They have cutiemark things too!! Starscream has a star, Skywarp has a cloud, and Thundercracker has a lightning bolt!!
I also made them little holiday costumes and a second Screamer where he has a crown!
I'm really really proud of them!! I've been hanging out around the gravity falls section as Skywarp because my friends like to go as Bill and Ford!!!
Also the campsite as Starscream when all the bubbles get to be a bit too much.
If you find me, say hi!! I'd love to be friends!!!
#mackerel posts#mackerel rambles#transformers#starscream#skywarp#thundercracker#pony town#maccadams#i dont actually know if this warrats the maccadams tag..#ive been on a pony making kick lately!!#ive mainly been going back and touching up my old skins as much as i can without redoing them#i need to redo a few (like shadow) but he took soooooo looooong so i rlly dont wanna#oh! i only really hangout in the 18+ server#the safe one is a little too much for me personally#but yeah#if you see me say hi!!#there was a really cool skyfire i met recently! and im friends with a whirl and a ratchet came up to be a while ago!!#its been fun!!#i know that theres a transformers area and everything but its a little intimidating#theyre all so cool!! there was a really pretty tc i met a while ago when i passed by and ive been too nervous to go back..#im sure theyre all super nice#its just a me thing. besides im new to transformers and what if they ask me something that i dont know!!#id never be able to play again!!#sorry for the rambles
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the reckless hearts
pairings: michael clifford/calum hood, michael clifford/harry styles (temporary), alex gaskarth/jack barakat, assorted minor pairings
rating: T
total word count: 53.7k
important tags: summer camp support staff AU, strangers to friends to lovers, ensemble fic, friendship, fluff, angst, hookup culture, bittersweet ending, galaxy hair michael
warnings: N/A
summary:
“And you’re what?” Michael asks, before giving Calum a once-over. “Logistics, I bet.” Obviously Michael hadn’t been tuned into his surroundings when Calum had given his brief introduction. “Yeah.” “Mike, I literally told you about Calum,” says Alex. “Did you?” Michael asks. Understanding dawns on his face. “Oh, you’re Calum, Alex’s roommate.”
-
(Or: summer camp AU, but make it support staff.)
Well. Here it is. The big ensemble summer camp fic I've been writing for over three years. This is the longest fic I have ever written. It is my passion project and my beloved child. Enjoy.
CHAPTER I // CHAPTER II // CHAPTER III // CHAPTER IV // CHAPTER V // CHAPTER VI // CHAPTER VII // CHAPTER VIII // CHAPTER IX // CHAPTER X // CHAPTER XI // CHAPTER XII // CHAPTER XIII // CHAPTER XIV // CHAPTER XV // CHAPTER XVI // CHAPTER XVII
#michael clifford#calum hood#malum#malum fic#5sos#5sos fic#fic#my fic#oh my fucking god finally#i started this fic over three years ago#almost three and a half#i can't believe it's actually done and i'm actually going to post it and it's actually fucking 53k#it is the longest thing i've ever written and absolutely a labor of love#i have so many fucking things to say and thoughts and feelings i JUST#i don't even know where to start#maybe ill start by saying that all the non-boy pictures in this moodboard are real photos of my own summer camp taken by me#(YES! IT REALLY IS THAT BEAUTIFUL!!!)#summer camp is a magical place you guys don't even know you CAN'T know unless you go#but i hope this fic shares that feeling with you all a little bit#auuughghhhhh im so nervous and stressed! but im doing it anyway!! fuck it we ball!!!#fic posting at 11:20pm is so me#stuff#trh#fic mb#my mb
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^_^
#very very excited about surgery like i know in a year it wont even be an issue and ill be extra happy i did it#I've kinda gotten past the anesthesia fear and i lived thru the MRI needle in my awrm so#the IV wont be too horrendous.#so right now my biggest worry is the After....#ive seen ppl say they were mostly resting in bed for like 2 or 3 days#and after that they just had to take it easy to get around but idk. im so nervous about That Part.#+ i cant. fall asleep on my back. lol. im terrified#i rly hope im so exhausted on that first day that i jst knock out upon getting home ykwim#being too aware of pain in the body makes me feel cornered in it sometimes ykwim. like i want to jump out of it ! nervous#i rly hope it doesnt hurt too bad!!!!!!! i know ppl say it feels like sore abs after workout but idk. idk nervous#talkys#especially since i have work to do! i hate feeling lazy. i dont even take naps bc i feel like its laziness i cant be out of commission for#a couple of days. WAH.#my friend had an adjacent surgery and said she woke up in a lot of pain! they obvs administered pain management#immediately but oh god. ykwim. im scared of waking up in a lot of pain being in a lot of pain
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